Briefly Noted: Anxiety is a bit like assent.

Epictetus said we’re disturbed not by events, but by how we relate to them. When we worry, for example, we take a situation, project it into the future, and then try to manage it. The problem is that the situation we’re trying to manage only exists in our imagination. It’s merely a simulation, and in the process of trying to manage it, we lose touch with reality and lose ourselves in a daydream.

It’s pointless, but we do it because it feels productive. It feels like we’re preparing for the future. We also do it because it feels better than sitting with our anxious feelings. Research has shown that worry reduces anxious distress just enough to make it reinforcing, leading us back to worry again and again. That’s how worry becomes chronic.

The problem is not just that we’re caught in a daydream. It’s that we don’t notice it’s a dream. We think it’s reality because it feels real.

The Stoic advice is to take control of our mind and deal with the world as it unfolds. But how we take that advice about control matters a lot. We don’t take control by tightening our grip. We take control by letting go.

Instead of trying to resolve the daydream, we notice what’s actually present, not a reality, but a collection of scary thoughts and images and some unpleasant sensations. We learn to relax into the sensations while letting the thoughts and images fade. When we do that, the dream falls apart at the seams.

And from there, the next step is usually obvious.