July Reading Roundup

Emotional Patterns, Gender Myths, and the Invisible Threads of Our Relationships

 Photo by Soner Özcan

Hello friends,

As we hit the heart of summer, I’m noticing a theme running through what’s been catching my eye this month: how hidden forces, whether rooted in personality, trauma, social norms, or even our interactions with technology, shape the way we love, parent, and connect.

Below, you’ll find articles and studies that dig into these threads, offering fresh ways to understand ourselves and those around us.

I hope these pieces spark reflection and maybe even a conversation or two.

• How a Mother’s Trauma Affects Her Child – Breaking cycles starts with awareness.

• Neuroticism and Relationships – When personality matters more than attachment.

• Moodwatching – A quirky practice for emotional clarity.

• Are We Getting Attached to AI? – How we relate to our digital companions.

• The Brain on Porn – What neuroscience reveals about porn use and intimacy.

• Desire, Motherhood, and Starting Over – A candid take on parenting and pleasure.

• Empathy and Emotional Support – The power of getting it (specifically) right.

• The Hidden Cost of “Nice” – How gender stereotypes quietly limit women.

How a Mother’s Trauma Affects Her Child

A mother’s early life adversity doesn’t just stay in her past—it can ripple into the next generation. A five-year study of 501 families found that maternal trauma is linked to children’s emotional, behavioral, and cognitive challenges, often through factors like socioeconomic strain, relationship conflict, and caregiving patterns. A powerful reminder: breaking cycles starts with understanding and support.
Read more here

Neuroticism and Relationships: When Personality Outweighs Attachment Style

Attachment theory gets a lot of attention, but new research suggests that personality traits like neuroticism—our tendency toward worry, irritability, and mood swings—can matter just as much (or more) for relationship health. Neuroticism paired with insecure attachment seems to fuel distress, conflict, and dissatisfaction. It’s a reminder that no single framework explains everything.
Explore the findings

Why Neurotic Partners Fight More (and Feel Less Loved)

It’s not just the negative emotions that challenge relationships when one partner is high in neuroticism—it’s the conflict patterns that follow: yelling, stonewalling, emotional flooding. These patterns don’t just mark bad moments—they’re what erode satisfaction over time. But recognizing the pattern is the first step toward change.
Read more

Moodwatching: The DIY Emotional Scavenger Hunt

Author A.J. Jacobs turned his emotions into a daily scavenger hunt, tracking 20 feelings a day with an index card and pencil. The result? Sharper emotional insight, deeper joy, and a surprising ability to defuse irritation before it spirals. Part mindfulness, part game, part therapy—Moodwatching transforms the ordinary into meaningful emotional check-ins.
LinkedIn article | BoingBoing write-up

Are We Getting Attached to AI?

As AI becomes woven into daily life, it’s not just a tool—it’s becoming a relationship. A recent study shows we engage with AI using the same patterns of anxiety and avoidance we do with people. Some of us seek comfort; others keep it at a distance. These findings could reshape how we design—and feel about—our digital companions.
Read more

The Brain on Porn: Why It Matters for Relationships

Neuroscience shows that frequent porn use can alter the brain’s reward system, shrinking gray matter and reducing sensitivity to normal pleasures. This can fuel a search for more extreme content and erode intimacy, trust, and connection. Especially concerning: exposure is starting younger than ever, with kids as young as 10 encountering explicit material.
Explore the science

Desire, Motherhood, and Starting Over

In a raw, honest interview, author Honor Jones opens up about parenting, divorce, and rediscovering desire. She unpacks the guilt, longing, and quiet rebellion of wanting more while navigating life as a single mother of three. A beautifully candid look at the complex intersection of sex, stress, and starting over.
Read the conversation

Empathy and Emotional Support: Why Getting It Right Matters

We all want to be supportive, but platitudes rarely hit the mark. New research highlights the power of empathic accuracy—the ability to tune in to what your partner is really feeling and respond accordingly. It’s not about guessing perfectly; it’s about caring enough to want to get it right.
Learn more

The Hidden Cost of “Nice”

A sweeping study finds that the assumption that women are more cooperative and generous—while flattering—can quietly limit their power. These stereotypes lead to women being overlooked for leadership, passed over in hiring, and penalized for advocating for themselves. The problem isn’t whether the traits are true—it’s how deeply we believe them to be.
Read the study

Final Thoughts

This month’s readings remind us that so much of what shapes our connections lies beneath the surface: old wounds, personality patterns, invisible expectations.

The good news?

Awareness gives us a chance to do things differently. I’d love to hear—what stood out to you this month? Let’s keep the conversation going.