September Reading Roundup
Anger, identity, and the gendered scripts we can’t see.
Photo by cottonbro studio
This month’s articles circle around one persistent theme: gendered expectations. Who gets to be angry? Who’s taken seriously? What happens when we step outside the roles we’ve been handed? This roundup explores the psychological undercurrents shaping how we show up in relationships, workplaces, and political life.
This Month’s Highlights:
Who Gets to Be Angry? – Why female outrage is often punished, and what softens the blow.
The Happiest Women? – New data challenges what we think we know about marriage, motherhood, and meaning.
Haircut Advice as Sabotage – A dark twist on a seemingly harmless exchange.
Performative Men and the Gender Trap – Why “authenticity” might be the wrong thing to police.
When Anger Pays Off—for Men – How rage fuels financial risk-taking (and reward).
Nice Girls Finish Last? – How benevolent sexism undermines women in job interviews.
Why Some Liberal Men Are Leaving the Left – A growing alienation and what it reveals.
Male Loneliness Through a Trans Lens – What one man saw after crossing the gender divide.
Stop Coaching Women to Lead Like Men – Why mimicry isn’t the answer to workplace inequality.
Who Gets to Be Angry?
A new study finds that when a female political candidate expressed outrage about gender inequality, she was judged as “complaining” and less warm, leading people to pull away from her. But when she framed her anger as care for others, the backlash softened.
This research shines a light on how emotional expression isn’t just personal, it’s political. Especially for women.
The Happiest Women Have Kids and a Husband?
You’ve probably heard that single, child-free women are the happiest. But a new survey of 3,000 U.S. women found the opposite: married mothers reported the most happiness, meaning, and the least loneliness, despite higher stress and less free time.
Correlation isn’t causation, and the study hasn’t yet been peer-reviewed, but the results complicate a dominant cultural narrative. Worth a look, no matter where you land.
Off With Her Hair: The Subtle Sabotage of Relational Aggression
A recent study on women’s haircut advice revealed something darker than expected: relational aggression in disguise. These seemingly innocent suggestions (“You’d look amazing with bangs!”) may serve as covert social sabotage, especially when driven by competition or insecurity.
No shouting. No drama. Just manipulation disguised as kindness.
Why Are We Policing “Performative” Men?
Is the guy reading bell hooks while sipping kombucha really the issue? This essay argues that gender has always been a performance, and that our obsession with calling out “fake” feminism in men says more about our cynicism than their sincerity.
Mocking emotional or progressive men doesn’t protect feminism. It narrows who’s allowed to care.
When Anger Pays Off—for Men
Harvard researcher Jennifer Lerner found that anger made men more likely to take financial risks, and sometimes those risks paid off. Women didn’t show the same boost. The study blends experimental and meta-analytic approaches to unpack how emotional reactions shape high-stakes decisions.
Anger isn’t just a feeling—it’s a strategy. For some, anyway.
How “Nice” Sexism Sabotages Women in Job Interviews
Benevolent sexism (“women are nurturing,” “need protection”) might sound flattering, but it’s damaging, and sneaky. A Nature study shows that these beliefs lower evaluations of female job candidates, especially when paired with more overt bias.
Even women who hold these beliefs about themselves may internalize limitations that hold them back.
Why Some Liberal Men Are Quietly Leaving the Left
An op-ed in Newsweek explores why some progressive men feel politically homeless. It’s not a turn to conservatism, but a quiet drifting, fueled by critiques of masculinity, due process debates, and fear of cancel culture.
The takeaway? If the left wants to retain male allies, it might need to reframe masculinity as a strength, not a problem.
What a Trans Man’s Culture Shock Reveals About Male Loneliness
After transitioning, one trans man describes the stark emotional isolation he encountered as he moved through the world as male. The ease of female friendship was replaced with distance, silence, and a sense of disconnection.
His perspective reveals something cis men may not even realize they’re missing, and invites us to rethink what’s possible in male emotional life.
When Women Are Coached to Lead Like Men, Everyone Loses
For years, women have been taught to succeed by leaning into stereotypically male traits: assertiveness, stoicism, self-promotion. But this article argues that mimicry isn’t the answer.
Instead, workplaces need to evolve. When leadership includes emotional fluency, collaboration, and authenticity, everyone benefits.
Final Thoughts
This month’s reads tell us that gender scripts are shaping our emotions, choices, and opportunities, often in ways we don’t even notice. But naming these patterns is the first step in shifting them.
Which of these resonated with you? What’s something you once believed about gender that you’ve since let go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Just hit reply or drop a comment.
Until next time,
John