And Now a Word from Our Sponsor (It’s Just Me)
This blog is growing. So is my fatigue. Let’s talk.
Photo by noridah yazid
Hi all,
Some of you know that when I started Cheaper than Divorce, I made a commitment to write a post a week for a year, then reassess.
So I thought I would use this week to check in with you on this project, both to let you know where I am with it as the writer and find out where you are as the reader.
When I embarked on this commitment, the idea of producing weekly content felt both exhilarating and daunting. Now, at the halfway point, I’ve done 26 weekly posts and seven bonus posts (mostly Reading Roundups).
As a result, I’ve gone from an initial group of 40 subscribers to 565 as of today, which is great. I really appreciate all of you, especially the ones who comment on my posts, send me emails, or tell me in person that they’ve been reading.
Subscribed
What I’ve Learned So Far (Besides That I Need a Nap)
The easiest part of the project has been thinking up what to write about. The topics keep coming, and even now I have a half dozen posts already loaded into Substack. Those will roll out through mid-July. On top of that, I’ve got 56 more in various stages of completion: polished drafts, rough drafts, outlines, notes, sometimes just a single sentence capturing the core of an idea.
The harder part has been sequencing: figuring out which pieces depended on which others, so I could refer back rather than repeat myself. There was more foundational ground to cover than I initially expected, and ordering the posts became its own kind of fun puzzle. I wanted later posts to build on earlier ones, not rehash them, so I started mapping out dependencies, like a kind of narrative architecture.
All of this is a lot of fun, but there has been a cost.
The Haters Arrived, and That’s Fine
Another sign of success (I guess!) is that I’ve developed a few haters who circle around like gadflies waiting to land.
I’ve noticed that they seem to come in a few flavors: religious guys who think therapy is secular nonsense, men’s men who think it’s gay, and divorced guys who think their couples therapist was biased against them. Sometimes all three.
Their reactions, while not exactly pleasant, tell me I’m saying something that matters.
In fact, I’ve come to appreciate them. They’re like a mirror. Not a flattering one: a distorted one, but a revealing one. Unlike my subscribers, who often reflect my own enthusiasm and alignment, the haters offer a kind of validity check. They represent another worldview, one I don’t want to caricature or dismiss.
So now, part of my writing brain asks, how would this sound to one of those guys? Not to pander, but to stay honest. I want to write in a way that has a broader worldview while staying true to my principles, even when readers don’t agree.
The next big achievement would be writing something they hate enough to make me go viral!
The Real Strain
By far, the hardest part of this project has been the sheer volume of output. Some of you know that I am a corporate test developer by day and a couples therapist by night, which adds up to about one and a half jobs. I also have two teenagers and a wife, so my life isn’t exactly set up to spend a lot of time writing.
I suspect that’s why I’ve recently started to feel a bit—I’m not even sure what the right word is—not burnt out, exactly. Not stressed. Just tired. And I think it’s worth naming that, because it gets at what this post is really about.
I still enjoy my A job, and my B job, and now this C job. But it’s a lot. And it gets at how I’m going to approach the rest of this year.
Part of it has to do with why I’m doing this in the first place.
Why I’m Still Writing
I’ve been a writer ever since I started journaling at age 19. That was a daily practice for a solid ten years, and by the end of it I was a decent writer. I moved from poetry to fiction, to the stage, and finally to TV before I went to grad school. And then it was all academic writing. After that, for the past 15 years it’s been business and technical writing at my job. So this project felt like a chance to reconnect with something I loved while providing something of value to others. A win/win.
But as any writer knows, it’s a lot of work.
What Comes Next
What all of this means is that I love writing, and I’m glad I’m reaching people. I want to keep up with this somehow over time. The question is how.
I think I’ll have to either write fewer pieces, write shorter pieces, or find a new rhythm that doesn’t burn me out. And that’s where you come in.
Tell Me What You Think
If you’ve read this far, you’re exactly who I want to hear from.
What have you liked most about this project so far? What would you want to see more of, or less of? Would shorter posts work? What about a less frequent schedule?
Thank you!
John