Is Relationship Coaching Worth It?

Costs, benefits, and how to choose wisely.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

These days, it seems like anyone with a ring light and a TikTok account can call themselves a relationship coach. Scroll through Instagram, and you’ll find polished profiles promising transformation. But what does a relationship coach actually do? Are they like therapists? Cheerleaders? Consultants?

And the bigger question, do they work? How do you know who’s legit? And how do you compare someone who’s done a weekend training to someone with a state license?

In this post, I look at what relationship coaching can do, how to evaluate a coach, and how to spot some red flags. This guide focuses specifically on coaches who work with both partners, not those who advise just one partner to build individual skills. That’s a separate conversation.

What is a Relationship Coach?

The American Psychological Association defines coaching as “specialized instruction and training provided to enable individuals to acquire or enhance particular skills, as in executive coaching or life coaching, or to improve performance, as in athletic or academic coaching.”

Relationship coaches work with clients to improve communication, deepen emotional connections, and set actionable goals for their relationships. They use tools like role-playing, goal-setting exercises, and real-time feedback to help clients practice new strategies.

But there’s a catch: coaching is an unregulated field.

Anyone can call themselves a relationship coach, regardless of training or experience. That’s why it’s crucial to vet their credentials and methods. Some coaches use evidence-based models while others rely on personal intuition and anecdotal advice, and some are just winging it.

How is a Relationship Coach Different from a Couples Therapist?

While both relationship coaches and couples therapists help couples improve their relationship, their scope of practice is very different. Couples therapists are usually licensed mental health professionals trained in empirically supported couples therapy interventions (1). Their work is primarily evidence-based and heavily regulated, requiring thousands of supervised hours and state exams. See my recent post How to Choose a Couples Therapist.

Relationship coaches focus on building skills, setting goals, and optimizing connection. They’re not equipped to diagnose mental health conditions, and their training varies widely. Some complete rigorous programs grounded in research-based interventions, while others may have attended only a brief training with no meaningful oversight.

For couples navigating everyday conflicts or seeking stronger communication, a good coach can be incredibly helpful. But for chronic patterns of conflict, individual mental health issues, or deep-seated issues of trust and attachment, a couples therapist is a safer choice.

Does Relationship Coaching Work?

The evidence base for relationship coaching is still emerging. While executive coaching and life coaching have more established research, relationship coaching is newer and less studied. That said, the broader field of coaching shows promising results for goal attainment, personal insight, and well-being, suggesting that relationship coaching may offer similar benefits as research catches up (2, 3).

The effectiveness of coaching largely depends on the model a coach uses. Evidence-based frameworks like GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, Will) and CLEAR (Contracting, Listening, Exploring, Action, Review) provide structured paths for setting and achieving goals. Many coaches also integrate principles from Solution-Focused Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), both of which are well-supported in mental health research. That said, it's important to note that these models are primarily drawn from general coaching and therapeutic practice, so their effectiveness in relationships is still somewhat speculative.

The bottom line: coaching works best when it’s structured, evidence-based, and focused on actionable change. But it’s not a replacement for therapy if mental health problems are involved.

How Much Does Relationship Coaching Cost?

The cost of relationship coaching varies widely, depending on experience, credentials, and the type of service. Most coaches charge between $100 and $200 per hour, with high-end practitioners asking up to $350 for specialized expertise. Many also offer packages of 6–12 sessions, ranging from $500 to $2,500, sometimes with extras like email support or progress tracking.

Despite some coaches charging premium rates, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics the average income for relationship coaches hovers around $65,000 per year, suggesting that many work part-time or at modest rates. This is important context when evaluating high fees: a steep price tag doesn’t necessarily reflect greater expertise. Sometimes, it’s just the cost of sustaining a small part-time practice.

For ongoing support, some coaches use subscription models with monthly fees for regular sessions and resources. At the high end, there are retreats and multi-day intensives that can run several thousand dollars. These options are typically aimed at immersive work in a condensed timeframe.

While coaching is generally an out-of-pocket expense, its lower hourly rates can make it more accessible than couples therapy, which often ranges from $150 to $300 per session. However, there’s a caveat: basic couples therapy is sometimes covered by insurance, dramatically reducing the cost for those with mental health coverage. That said, therapy through insurance isn’t always ideal: finding a provider can be difficult, and those therapists may not have a true specialization in couples work, which can make a relationship coach a more attractive option overall.

Transparency is key: if a coach is vague about their pricing, it’s a major red flag. A good coach is upfront about costs, clear on what’s included, and transparent about what kind of progress you can expect. If you’re met with hedging or evasion, it’s better to keep looking.

How Do You Find a Good Relationship Coach?

Finding a good relationship coach takes more than scrolling through polished websites or reading glowing testimonials. Because the field is unregulated, it’s especially important to vet their experience, methodology, and credentials carefully. While my recent post, How to Choose a Couples Therapist, covers the essentials in greater detail, these are the key principles to guide your search:

1. Look for an Established Methodology

Look for a coach who can clearly explain their methods, like GROW, CLEAR or CBT. A certificate doesn’t guarantee depth, but it might tell you where to look more closely. What matters is the substance of their approach and their ability to articulate how their process works.

2. Understand Which Credentials Actually Mean Something

Because coaching isn’t regulated, certifications vary wildly in quality. Some involve little more than a weekend webinar. Others, like those from the International Coaching Federation (ICF), require rigorous training, documented experience, and performance evaluations (4). While no credential guarantees skill, ICF certification is a meaningful sign of professionalism and structure.

3. Prioritize Experience Over Claims

Real-world experience matters. Ask how long they’ve been practicing, what types of clients they typically work with, and how they handle conflict or tough relational dynamics. Look carefully through their website: if their testimonials, blog posts, or service descriptions mostly reference individual clients, that’s a sign they may lack the nuance needed for couples work.

4. Take Advantage of Free Consultations

Most relationship coaches offer a free consultation. Treat this as a mini-interview: gauge their style, ask about their methods, and see if their approach resonates. It’s also a good idea to include your partner in this call to ensure you’re both comfortable.

5. Ask the Right Questions

•         What training and experience do you have?

•        What’s your experience with couples specifically?

•         How do you measure progress?

•         What models or frameworks do you use?

•         Can you share examples (anonymously) of past clients you’ve helped?

•         Don’t spend the whole call talking about your issues!

6. Know the Red Flags

•         Vague or evasive about pricing or credentials

•         Can’t explain their coaching process in detail

•         Heavy reliance on personal anecdotes instead of research-based methods

•         Pushes long-term packages before the first session

•         Promises quick fixes for complex problems

A good coach is transparent, methodical, and clear about what they can and can’t do. If you’re getting anything less, keep looking.

Is Relationship Coaching Worth It?

Relationship coaching can be a powerful tool for building communication skills, resolving conflict, and setting tangible goals for growth. But the unregulated nature of the industry means that finding the right coach requires careful vetting, looking beyond certifications to real experience and evidence-based methods. A good coach understands the complexities of relationships and can back up their approach with real-world results.

Whether relationship coaching is worth it largely depends on your goals and the complexity of your challenges. If you’re seeking practical skills, structured accountability, and forward momentum, coaching can be highly effective. But if deeper emotional work, mental health challenges, or long-standing conflict are part of the equation, couples therapy may be the better investment.

The key is informed decision-making. Ask the right questions, demand clarity about methods and pricing, and don’t settle for vague promises. A good coach will be transparent, grounded in proven techniques, and focused on measurable growth.

1 One caveat: while titles like Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) or Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) are regulated, the term "couples therapist" itself is unregulated. Anyone can use it regardless of formal training or licensure

2 Grant, A. M. (2014). The efficacy of executive coaching in times of organizational change. Journal of Change Management, 14(2), 258–280.

3 Theeboom, T., Beersma, B., & van Vianen, A. E. M. (2014). Does coaching work? A meta-analysis on the effects of coaching on individual-level outcomes in an organizational context. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 9(1), 1–18.

4 The ICF offers three levels of certification, each reflecting progressively higher standards of training and experience. The Associate Certified Coach (ACC) requires 60 hours of coach-specific training and 100 hours of client coaching experience. The Professional Certified Coach (PCC) requires 125 hours of training and 500 hours of coaching experience. The Master Certified Coach (MCC), the highest level, requires 200 hours of training and 2,500 hours of client coaching. All levels also include performance evaluations and require adherence to a professional code of ethics.